Although quite simple, my name is not easy to pronounce in English (even for me). Older people sometimes say “ferris” like a ferris wheel (perhaps in reference to the famous 80s movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off). I am not particularly bothered by the different permutations either way, but it can be inconvenient at times.
When visiting a coffee shop, or engaging in any other unimportant event where a name is required for reference, I typically give the simplest two-letter name: “Jo”. It is impossible to cause any confusion or unnecessary back-and-forth exchange. The strategy usually works fine (although on rare occasion I stare blank-faced at the poor barista, yelling repetitively for “Jo” and wondering why I am ignoring them).
More recently I have decided to have a bit more fun with using names. The last few times I was grabbing a coffee with a friend, I would use their name at the counter instead. What I found most surprising is the unexpected response it stirred — a mix of confusion, defensiveness, and a feeling of being insulted:
Friend: “That is my name! What is wrong with you?”
Me: Relax. (Always fun to tell someone getting worked up to relax)
Friend: “No! You cannot just use my name!”
A name is a highly personal matter. I wonder what set of experiments one can design to formally study the question: to what extent do people feel their names are related to their “identity”? Why does casually using someone else’s name (not even posing as that person, which is creepy, but using a general first name which they happen to have) suddenly make them uncomfortable?
I think Shakespeare said it right. Try it with your friends, and see what reactions it invokes.